I don’t know if it’s just PMS (never a great way to start a blog post) but lately I have had moments when the heaviness of life weighs down on me to a degree I’ve never felt before.
The weather is gorgeous and I can literally hear birds chirping and life is beautiful, right?
Yes, we have iced lattes and modern medicine and FaceTime but those haven’t taken all the pain out of life.
I know we aren’t guaranteed even tomorrow but sometimes life feels long in an exhausting way. Like an endless loop of OK days and hard days and even happy days requiring so much of me and for WHAT??
I told this to dan and he said “But you have to keep writing.” But–I argued– everything feels like effort for no reason. So instead I will watch Marriage Bootcamp: Reality Stars (a real show, I’m not making this up) and eat sour candy.
Dan said that we humans have a tendency to either assign too much meaning to something or not enough meaning and I definitely fall in the latter camp. He reminded me that it feels futile because we are made for another world.
One not pieced together with sunny days, but one with endless light. Our tired hearts are waiting for a world without the heaviness of effort but full of work that we were made for. A world not full of dust but always new. Always new yet fulfilling every nostalgic wish for home.
And Dan reminded me, as I admitted my aching feelings, that the reason we give effort and raise our kids and work our jobs and bring someone a meal and pray for someone and write on our blogs or WHATEVER it is you do is to bring bits of the new world into this one; filling dusty corners with hope.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.” Jesus in John 14