I am nothing if not relatable. I am a regular person who leaves crumbs, doesn’t put her shoes away, potentially has a toenail fungus and looks crazy upon waking.
The other night I was lamenting one of my many flaws: my obsession with clothing. (C’mon ladies, I know I’m not unique in this!) How sometimes in order to fall asleep, I just imagine different outfits and shoe combinations.
I was thinking how unfortunate that I’m so shallow and greedy. And the right response is to feel sad and ashamed and guilty about it.
I swear to you, out of nowhere, in my head was this:
You are not guilty.
This is not a new idea, but it felt like the first and only time I’d ever heard it.
My response: But if am greedy, then, actually, yes, I’m guilty of greed.
Same answer: You are not guilty. So stop feeling guilty.
And I think you know I don’t mean to take sin lightly or to keep wallowing in it. Not at all! But the shock and relief I felt at the voice saying “You aren’t guilty” showed me that I have been living and thinking like I am. What a tragedy, really.
I tend to think of salvation in broad, general terms. Yes, I know. Yes, I know Jesus took the hit for me. So that I can be forgiven, righteous, etc. Do you know how many times I’ve heard this????
But can it be that I am not guilty of the very things I am guilty of?? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS???
And if it’s true then I am light in the chest and not so in my head and not covering my heart from Him or wondering if I can pray.
Can it be that it isn’t a general “He died for your sins”, but that it is a life-altering every night when I’m thinking I’m THE WORST that He is like, “WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING? YOU ARE NOT EVEN GUILTY.”
So relax into this truth and celebrate and use that extra headspace to make someone laugh or write them a letter or just do a spin on the sidewalk because you are not guilty of the things you are guilty of.
“If one man’s sin put crowds of people at the dead-end abyss of separation from God, just think what God’s gift poured through one man, Jesus Christ, will do! There’s no comparison between that death dealing sin and this generous, life-giving gift. The verdict on that one sin was the death sentence; the verdict on the many sins that followed was this wonderful life sentence. If death got the upper hand through one man’s wrongdoing, can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides?” (From the Message, Romans 5)